


Family Bonding Time

by glimmerFae (verfens)



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Adventure, Altered Mental States, Crack, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Humor, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, McCree gets around, Memory Alteration, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mention of Past Violence, Minor Violence, Reaper decides that they're fucked up enough on their own, Team as Family, The cops show up and are like ??? and then leave, comical nudity, inevitable angst, inevitable fluff, make McCree's "dilf" shirt canon, mention of past death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 12:35:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7171436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verfens/pseuds/glimmerFae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Many individuals within the group feel as though Overwatch is their family.  And like all families, they have their quabbles, their laughs, their treasured memories and their problem children.  But at the end of the day, they are a family, and they care about each other far more than anyone on the outside might expect, given the state that they leave places in once chaos unfolds.  Objective A, therefore needs to be that they start getting along better.  Objective B, however, is to give Junkrat a bath- something that gives them all a bit more trouble than first expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family Bonding Time

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this chapter as a oneshot originally, before I realized that this was too beautiful a piece to just have as a standalone. Enjoy.

It having been only a few weeks since the official Recall, there had now been an amassing of unique individuals in the mansion once again. After Tracer and Winston had shown up on his doorstep blooded and a general mess, but absolutely ready to throw themselves into the fray, it was all they could do to get out of the way while he re-donned his family's armor.

However, there were many new individuals that all didn't precisely get along in the mansion. Notably, there were some of the other founders, Jack, now 76, off with a lone Bastion unit, Torbjörn, more than happy to rejoin the fray as well. Reyes was allegedly alive, but not on their side. Ana and Liao were lost to them, most likely, according to Mercy. A good deal of other familiar faces had come around- it was always a treat to be visited by Dr. Ziegler, but to see her in her Valkyrie outfit once more was a blessing. Mei-Ling Zhou, who he had already visited after she had been rescued following Overwatch's end, was also back in the mansion, as they planned their next move. Tracer and Winston had also come back, and even McCree and Genji worked their way out from where they had holed up. But Reinhardt also noticed the already large group had amassed new members.

Famous names like Hana Song, known as "D.Va", and Lúcio Correia Dos Santos, had willingly joined the cause, and Ana's daughter, Fareeha, had as well. Aleksandra Zaryanova was on her way from Russia, more than eager to join the organization known for ending the first Omnic Crisis. Genji had brought with him the brother of the assassinated Omnic leader, named Zenyatta. Satya Vaswani, a star of the Vishkar Corporation, had also joined at the behest of her organization.

But there were some members that had also arrived with '76' that didn't quite get along with many of the other members.

"Reinhardt- may I speak with you?"

A cold and calculating voice came from behind him, and he almost instantly knew the subject that the ever-logical Satya needed to speak with him about. For someone who had grown up in poverty, she was awfully quick to judge said subject for his circumstances. Than again, he didn't really agree with Vishkar's approach to maintaining world order.

With a heaving sigh, Reinhardt turned around to face her, asking in a defeated voice: "What did he do now?"

As he looked though, it turned out that it was not just Satya, but also Fareeha. The two tended not to get along, as they would wind up getting intensely political. Lúcio would wind up cheering on Fareeha, telling her to "wreak" the Indian woman, while Satya stayed firmly in place.

The main issue always broiled down to this- how could Satya be content with herself being a part of an imperialist empire now? How could Satya, a woman from a country who was still breaking free of English imperialist scars earlier that century, be okay with being an imperialist?

Satya always disagreed, claiming that order was better than the chaos, that places weren't ready for freedom in the chaos following the Omnic Crisis, and Fareeha always wound up cursing her out in heated Arabic, pointing out how similar that sounded to imperialists in Africa, Asia, the Americas, and elsewhere only centuries before. By the end of it, the two were at each other's throats.

To be quite honest, Reinhardt agreed with Fareeha far more than Satya. "Order", if it came through violence and death, was not order at all.

But, that aside- to see them standing next to each other as they were now was tantamount to seeing the apocalypse. Reinhardt felt like he needed to pray to a deity, be it Jesus, Allah, or Krishna. Perhaps all three. He merely held his hands up in surrender, awaiting to see what the two women wanted from him.

"It's more of a matter of what he _didn't_ do." Fareeha mentioned. "That man smells worse than rotting _fesikh_ , and that is saying something."

"Indeed. I will _tolerate_ him-however begrudgingly- for the time being in the small amount of lab space that we all share, however, what I cannot tolerate is his general refusal to _bathe_." Satya ground out firmly, her teeth flashing in a passive-aggressive smile. "If we must work in close relations, than he must not smell worse than the terrible food that she eats."

Fareeha looked offended, before she rolled her eyes, muttering in Arabic about it.

"Anyway. _Yala_ , Reinhardt. He respects your opinion more than he does the Imperialist and myself."

Satya twitched beside her at the insult, and the two were already ready to jump for each other's throats. He almost stepped in to stop them, before Fareeha looked back at him with purpose. "Yal. La. _Yala_. Ugh. Why must English lack a true equivalent- go; fix it."

The two went their separate ways, and Reinhardt took in a deep breath. To be fair, he was worried that should a fight actually break out between them, his family home might not be able to continue to work as Overwatch's base- for it would be utterly destroyed.

After a tentative step, he heard a familiar chuckle, and the site of his small, long-time friend, brought him some great relief.

He took another deep sigh, before smiling at him, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Ah… Thank god it is you, Torbjörn! I was wondering who could accompany me to hostile territory!"

The Swedish man rolled his eyes. "Hostile territory? Reinhardt, you've never changed. Certainly, the lad's a bit unscrewed, but he's young- younger than almost all of us. What were you doing at 25?"

Reinhardt paused, thinking back. "That was 6 years before the Omnic Crisis…I was on tour for Germany. A young hot-shot soldier, fighting the good fight for the family name!"

Another laugh. "Really? That would be right, wouldn't it? You were already in the army! 6 years before the crisis, I was a right prick. Working in research with the guild, making bigger and more dangerous weapons. Feh. I wasn't thinking about the long-term consequences of _nothing_. I sort of admire the twig, honestly. Sure, he does bad things, but what were my weapons used for? At least he has a cause that he stands behinds and defends with everything that remains of him. I had a basic moral compass, but money was much more enticing at his age, and if I wasn't the one firing the bullets, then what was the harm?"

Reinhardt hummed in quiet agreement. "Morrison always wanted us to fight the good fight. Shaped up a fair amount of men in his time, didn't he? You, McCree, Genji, and others."

There was only another moment's worth of camadarie, and then it was broken, as Torbjörn reached up as far as he could, before he patted Reinhardt's thigh.

"Seriousness aside- Junkrat. Lord in heaven! The twig has no concept of personal hygiene! He's good fun in the lab- always nice to have someone else to tell prissypants to stuff it and who understands that omnics can't be trusted- it's gotten to the point I can't deal with it. We reckoned you'd be the only one who'd manage to hold down the large one while Mercy and myself wrestle with the stick to get him into the shower. You'd think the man came from the insides of a rotten animal right now."

Another great sigh. "So I am simply to take care of the bodyguard." He rolled his shoulders. "Listen, friend- I am not as young as I used to be."

"Horse _shit_ Reinhardt. When 76 and you were tracking them down, you decked the poor son of a bitch." Torbjörn scoffed at the excuse, and Reinhardt shook himself out to prepare himself.

"Ugh. I will try my best."

XXXXX

As it turns out, Roadhog cannot smell. He thinks it was the radiation, and even if it wasn't, the mask that permanently donned was enough to block out even the worst of stenches anyway. It came in useful when you guard a man nicknamed Junkrat for a reason. He was also a man who remembered enough of living with his mother and sister to force the ass of a man to bathe. If Roadhog had been asked to assist, he could have easily done the near-impossible feat, as he had before, on many occasions.

However, as most members of the Recalled Overwatch were unfamiliar and ever so slightly afraid of the largely silent giant man, despite his best efforts to show his soft side- the kid had stolen his stuffed onion and he hadn't even complained! The other man of few words- 76, right? – But the man understood his deal perfectly.

But it was this slight fear along with the large contempt and disgust that she held for Roadhog, that had led Satya Vaswani to not ask him about how to go about bathing Junkrat. This was, of course, a terrible mistake. The following scene that emerged immediately after this deadly mistake was one of total chaos.

It began as coordinated beforehand. Torbjörn and Reinhardt entered the lab with relative ease, talking about plans to upgrade Reinhardt's armor with some new tech. But the man pretended that he would have none of it.

Roadhog had been using the lab to nab some things for his bike, and was patiently waiting at the door for his partner in crime while Junkrat continued to play with some of Satya's turret wiring to see if he could use the tech for his own purposes, his back hunched over as he giggled, a string of drool dripping down the side of his mouth. Roadhog nudged him with his foot, to remind him to wipe it. He did so almost unconsciously with his wrist, used to being looked after by the large man.

Unfortunately, when Satya walked in and didn't panic over how Junkrat had been dismantling her organized space, it tipped off the more self-aware of the two Junkers who quickly dodged a punch thrown by Reinhardt, hot in pursuit, eager to take any sort of surprise that remained in Roadhog.

However, Satya elegantly tripped the large man, aided by Fareeha with a rope. She sneered at him, as she gestured for Fareeha to clean up the rope. The Egyptian woman's eyes narrowed, as Roadhog stood, cold determination boiling in his blood.

He shoved Satya forward with a narrowly missed push of his hook, and sent the Vishkar employee toppling into Fareeha. Fareeha and Satya looked almost affronted, before turning their attention to their true target.

As the two tanks had started to brawl it out in the lab, Mercy and Torbjörn knew they would not have time to spare, and descended swiftly. Junkrat just stared at Reinhardt and Roadhog, clearly confused as to why the two had started fighting at all. He giggled as he saw how Roadhog had been tripped up, even as he wondered what was going on. None of the Overwatch agents had messed with them before, but it could be a training exercise of sort. Going straight, they was! After all, Overwatch, as Roadhog had informed him, had a history of employing criminals.

But the giggling confusion switched to panic as he was flanked from all sides by the prissy, the Doc, the Dwarf, and the tattoo lady. It felt too menacing to just be a training activity.

However, the Doc came at him from above, and the Dwarf went low. The pretty blonde pulled his shirt up over his head, and the not-so-pretty one pulled down his pants, eliciting a surprised scream. "Stranger danger!" He shouted, even as the two struggled with the struggling, now completely nude young man.

"Ye don't wear boxers? Good lord." The dwarf complained, as the women grimaced. Mercy covered him with a towel, and tried to wrap him tight enough that his arms wouldn't be able to move.

However, they were distracted as Fareeha was hit by a wildly kicking foot and was shoved into Satya. "Listen, I know you are unused to having to watch where you are going from being in your homeland, but _some_ of us are trying to get something done!" Satya shouted, irritation high as she already was wearing a nose plug and avoiding looking at Junkrat and Roadhog both.

"That's. _It_." Fareeha said, standing to her full height, a good few inches taller than Satya in her off-duty prosthetic body, rolling her shoulders to stretch out her very sparse human pieces as she readied her metallic limbs for battle.

The Egyptian woman rolled up her sleeves as Satya rolled her eyes. "This does not need to be resolved through violence. You are no longer need-." Unfortunately, Satya didn't get to finish that sentence, as she was punched in the face.

" _Rizil."_ Fareeha spat in angry Arabic, before the two launched themselves at each other. "You look down on everyone else! And then! Then! Ugh! _Inti, Inti_! _Inti saazig!_ It's so frustrating! You're so frustrating! I feel like I am dealing with my uncle again! I ask you to stop and I get _Inshallah,_ okay, I am Egyptian; I know how this goes! _Inshallah_ , _bokrah_ , _maalesh_! Except you don't even say _maalesh_. You act as though _I_ must say _maalesh_! And I cannot even say maalesh because I must say it in English! _Sooorryy_! Why does the English word to apologize sound so patronizing?"

The two women's fight drew out into the main hallway of the first floor of the mansion, where Lúcio and Hana had been playing video games with Genji and Bastion. Lúcio clapped and hollered in approval, before he stood and dropped his controller as he turned up the music before racing to assist Fareeha, while Hana began to laugh at the scene.

This laughter gave way to fear as Genji shoved her away and drew his sword as Bastion's defense programming kicked in because of the fight. Genji's dragon responded automatically, and Genji immediately began deflecting bullets. However, he could not fire them back at Bastion, for that would damage the relatively innocent omnic, and he could not allow them to be launched into the room, for they would potentially hit his other teammates. Therefore, he directed them into the ceiling, praying that Reinhardt's talk of how good his family's engineering was not just talk to impress those like the Doctor and the young woman who was now having her feet knocked from underneath her by a rather overenthusiastic Lúcio.

 _Master, forgive me,_ He thought after he briefly debated deflecting the bullets into the fray, if only to remind them that this was not a game once Bastion's defense systems had come online.

Hana suddenly screamed, and the young teenaged fighter shouted in frantic Korean as she ran up to _her_ _mech_ in her bunny slippers and t-shirt and pajama short combo, staring at the 'pilot' in anger and revulsion.

Junkrat had commandeered the bright pink machine, however, he- standing about a foot taller than Hana if he ever stood at his full height- was too large for the machine, and with the young woman pounding on the override function, it managed to pop the cockpit open, turning shouts of upset English into disgusted, horrified Korean. However, what was causing the revulsion was more that Junkrat was still naked, and his bare _ass_ was on _her_ mech's seat, and nothing was right in the world. His dick and balls were caressing the leather in such a violating way that Hana was already thinking of what to order to replace it.

The shouts of indignation and curses, and general brawl noises drew out Tracer, who had been running on the track, trying to find something to occupy herself with. There was a sound of breaking glass, and Lena ran to catch the next vase that fell in the midst of the chaos- it, and the one before, had been knocked over by Fareeha, pushed to the side by Lúcio as he eagerly attempted to get revenge on Satya for the hard-light baseball bat hit to the nose.

McCree walked into the room, holding a bag of popcorn. Snickering, enjoying the general mess that had become of the team and the Wilhelm mansion. He was wearing a bright red fluffy robe and mismatched socks, one of them looked to belong to Mercy that he had snagged from the dryer, as it had her cutesy little symbol on it. 76 was also with him in blue flannel PJ bottoms and a grey tank top, but his white hair was mussed up and his finger was on the trigger of his gun.

"Alright punks, what's going on?" Soldier 76, formerly known as Jack Morrison grouched, clearly annoyed, and also quite clearly had been asleep at 2 in the afternoon.

"No time for answers now." Torbjörn called up to him, looking thoroughly green even as he carried a turret quickly past his legs. "If yer gonna help, we need all the help we can get, if not, stand aside and let us work!"

Roadhog was thrown into the mech that Junkrat had been in by Reinhardt, trying to explain to the man that this wasn't an attack on him, that his partner just stunk, but it didn't seem very effective. Junkrat's control on the mech was terrible, and it caused him to wobble and shout in panic, trying to keep it upright.

"How much damage will your mech take before it's destroyed?" Torbjörn asked the teenager, who stared forlornly at the scene, fiddling with the edge of her t-shirt and scratching her hair.

Hana sighed. "Destroy her- I can't fix what has been taken from her. But I can buy a new one."

"Right then." Torbjörn nodded, understanding completely as he patted his turret somewhat lovingly. "Your baby has been irrevocably desecrated. Ain't no fixing what he's done to her- but seriously; how much damage can she take? It's not like I'm tryin' to kill anyone!"

"Oh!" Hana blinked, before laughing lightly. "Sorry, she's got 400 armor, and then about a hundred more points before she's toast." The two set up base at the front door, building a turret to ensure that their objective wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

Said objective was still struggling in the mech, and had obviously seen the turret, making a choked shout of fear. The man leapt from his place in the mech, jumping with the aid of a bomb- where did he even get that? He probably had stored it in her mech to begin with! Jerk, Hana thought as she watched her mech break from the inside as Junkrat hung from the chandelier.

Now, one might wonder, amidst all the chaos, as two behemoths of men battled it out with hook and hammer, two women who did not see eye to eye on many issues fist-fought in the main room floor with a interfering man many of them felt was still a kid, as the dragon-controlling Ninja desperately attempted to calm down the Bastion unit that they had taken into their midst, as Mercy ran into the fray once more to get a hold on Junkrat with Torbjörn and Hana guarding the exit, Tracer and 76 running damage control with their enhanced speeds, and McCree eating popcorn and generally just enjoying the chaos…where was the man who had brought this all together? And where was the ape that had gathered them all into one convenient location?

When Reaper had tracked down the Recalled Agents to a place he already knew of- the Wilhelm Mansion, where Reinhardt had lived his whole life and had once been a treasured memory of Reaper's own, he had laughed. He had been so annoyed by the fact that the damn ape had stopped him from accessing the full list of agents, when in truth, he should be thanking Winston- after all, he had gathered them all up for him. There was a phrase that his once-apprentice had said a fair bit, about fish in a barrel, and he chuckled as he imagined saying that at said former-apprentice's demise.

However, as he snuck into the mansion, he also snuck directly into the middle of utter chaos. Reaper had to force himself not to laugh at the scene- he had come to instigate chaos, remind them why Overwatch broke up to begin with, and he had been beaten to the punchline.

If he spoke, he would alert the brawling members to his presence, so he ducked out as quietly as he had arrived. He wouldn't want to give them a mutual enemy when they were doing so well of tearing each other apart already. He still had a few hours to kill, and Reaper secretly felt that it had been too long since he'd visited that nice bakery near the mansion. A man can live, die, and live again, and still be hopelessly addicted to chocolate cakes, after all.

And as for Winston, well, he had been doing some light reading of the novels in the Wilhelm mansion, and listening to some of the "Classics of the 10's" according to the name of the 'iTunes' playlist on one of Reinhardt's vintage Mac laptops, grimacing as he read through some of Reinhardt's mothers belongings.

He was speeding through the ending of Mockingjay, thoroughly enjoying the 2010 novelized scifi based on how a dystopian America would have turned out to be like, and decided to share some of his cultural discovering for Tracer, who he was certain would enjoy this classic. He turned on the 'Bluetooth' option on the mac, and the song rang through the house.

_I…. WANNA SWING…. FROM THE CHANDELIER!_

Sia's 2014 hit song "Chandelier," a token song of any party or spirit week involving a "blast from the past," now blasted through the halls, and the dramatic irony was lost on Winston as Junkrat desperately held onto the beautiful chandelier in the main hall of the Wilhelm mansion, and Angela Ziegler, having had her Valkyrie uniform near destroyed and at the very least needing a good bleaching, dangled from his thrashing legs, avoiding staring into the disgusting things known as Junkrat's unwashed genitals, instead trying to find a way to get down relatively safely.

"Winston! Turn this shit off!" Mercy shouted, grimacing at the fungus-infected foot in her face. "And come out and _help_!"

That of course, brought out the gorilla, who stared at the mayhem and truly wondered if Overwatch had been worth it for this. Mercy and Junkrat were both losing their grips, and so Winston leapt up to catch them both, never really bothered by nudity the way other humans were.

Once they were both safely on the ground, Tracer threw him back into the mess as she handed him fallen antiques with a grin and 76 also quickly caught on to the fact they needed to hand off what they were holding to give it to the larger, stronger animal.

McCree grabbed some of the items and helped Winston carry them out of the room, getting a quiet and confused question as to what the hell was going on in there, responded only by an amused chuckle.

Junkrat had gone running after being set down, and Mercy was hot on his heels, the two of them winding up in the dining room with the table between them. Mercy wanted this to end here and now, and she attempted to calm herself as she readied to catch him the moment he ran one way or the other. Junkrat stared deep into her eyes, looking rather like a cornered animal, wide with a sort of primal fear.

"Jamison, we aren't going to hurt you." Mercy tried gently. In truth, she felt like jumping the two Junkers had been a bad idea from the very first time Satya had brought it up.

"N' how d' I know tha?" He asked, eyes narrowing, before feinting to the left, seeing how she followed it and felt inspired. He feinted to the right, and Mercy again followed. A third time, and she jumped over the table, making him squeak in horror and run the other way, back into the fight once more.

Suddenly, there was a creaking in the ceiling above Bastion and Genji. The ninja had been deflecting bullets for so long, that it had caused the ceiling above him to become critically damaged. Everything paused as they looked over to watch this new terror play out as one might watch a train wreck. Genji put his dragon away, the poor green animal exhausted from its efforts in preventing the deaths of any of Genji's teammates. Even the Bastion had paused, seeming out of ammo, or perhaps, realizing he was part of the problem. But that didn't matter. The creaking sound continued, and Genji felt a horrible pit in his stomach grow.

After all, immediately above him was the bathroom. Bastion, the kids, and him had been playing Pong beneath the master bath.

The ceiling collapsed above them. Much to his horror, a feminine scream came along with a flush of freezing water, both the ceiling and the bath above it crashing down onto Genji and Bastion. Mei had been bathing, and he felt a jolt of electricity go through his remaining human piece. Tracer paused in her frantic efforts to run and grab a towel for Mei, completely naked, as the bath had been one of those fancy baths that was built into the floor and the wall.

McCree, at some point, had come back without his fleece robe to view the chaos, and what he was wearing beneath was borderline obscene. He was in a crop top that read out, _DILF_ , and a bright red thong that was a _tad_ too small, which caused a muffin top. The British woman stammered in embarrassment, gesturing to him frantically in dumb horror. Lena threw the towel at McCree as Hana screamed at him to cover his hairy chest.

Bastion's beeps of distress became computerized unholy screams of the damned, drowned by water, and Genji internally prayed for a quick end. Mei froze herself instantly to prevent herself from being seen utterly naked since there was no longer the promise of a towel from Tracer. Of course, as Mei was still atop the perch that was made of cyborg and robot, Genji's remaining human body became increasingly cold, stuck beneath a block of literal ice. _Precision German engineering my cold, synthetic alloy ass,_ Genji thought with deep hatred of all parties involved in this mess.

Few had the capacity to respond. Mercy came from the side, soot covering her white uniform and anger on her face. She took her staff, and whacked McCree upside the head out of spite. The popcorn went flying, and the bag was shot full of bullets as 76 responded automatically to the extremely threatening snack food. He paused in the fight only to wonder for a moment on how the events of his long life had led him to this point.

Satya had a nasty looking black eye forming, and she spat out blood as she glared at Fareeha, the Egyptian triumphant above her. Lúcio appeared from behind; wearing such a vindictive expression on his face that Reinhardt felt a cold chill run down his spine. "Wouldn't want ya to have an unsymmetrical face, wouldja?" And with that, he punched her left side as well, knocking out the Indian woman who was also the face of Vishkar.

He and Fareeha then high-fived, because damn. Being talked down about everything so passive aggressively to for 2 weeks was _hard_. It was justice, revenge, and more than anything, incredibly satisfying.

There was a knocking on the door, and Hana turned around with a grin to get it, before being pulled back to allow Torbjörn through.

"Hello…sir?" It was a German police officer, and those who were nearest covered the naked man and the frozen woman behind them. The man stared into the hall, seeing multiple individuals carrying live ammunition, the collapsed ceiling, the two men who looked more like tanks than human beings, before his attention was drawn lower, to where Torbjörn was looking up at him expectantly.

"Sorry, house call between former Overwatch members." The Swedish man addressed him with a smile. "We can get a bit…heated over certain things, I'm certain that my old friend can sort it out with the authorities later."

The police officer nodded enthusiastically, still unable to really speak as Reinhardt and Roadhog separated only to hide the unconscious body of Satya Vaswani, both knowing that they didn't really want to get taken in for questioning as to what was going on. Any active Overwatch members caught would face no small amount of prosecution. So they all pretended as though Mei didn't emerge from ice to discover Genji beneath her with horror and had to have her mouth physically covered by Tracer, who also removed her entirely from the scene as discreetly one could remove a famous, nude climatologist who literally starred in her own superhero comic now that she had been rescued from being frozen in ice for god knows how long.

"Yes! I'm certain that Mr. Wilhelm will suffice, once this is…resolved!" The man said. "M-might I receive an autograph, Mr. Lindholm, sir. My son is a huge fan."

The tension sufficiently broken, the group let out a collective internal sigh of relief, and Torbjörn gladly signed the officer's item of choice- a collector's OVERWATCH card of him. He shut the door, and leveled them all with a stare as the fighting almost instantly continued, Reinhardt getting put into a chokehold by Roadhog and Mercy and Fareeha prepared to pounce on Junkrat, before Torbjörn grew frustrated

"Lord! It's not like we're tryin' to kill the stick! He just needs to bathe!" He exclaimed, rubbing the sweat off his face. "Christ. We could have been found out, and because we're probably causin' a disturbance."

"Just want 'em to _bathe,_ Toblerone?" Roadhog's gravely voice came unexpected, causing a sudden lull in the chaos. "Rat!" He switched his hold on Reinhardt completely, before letting him go, and directing his attention toward the skinny young man. "Not _bathed?_ Jesus _fuck_ , rat. Thought Overwatch was backstabbin' s."

Roadhog stomped over, the smaller man cowering in fear. "N' ya thought so too." He grumbled. "Peachy." The large man picked him up surprisingly delicately, before grabbing the towel off of McCree and wrapping up the smaller, skinner man in it. "'s not the best n' keepin' clean." Roadhog explained succinctly. "Other bath's in the same spot, right, Hardhead?" He asked, making Reinhardt stare.

"How do you know that name?" The man had removed his helmet, and was staring at the masked figure curiously.

"Ah." He shrugged. "'em." Roadhog tapped his head as though that explained everything, and Soldier 76 relaxed once the two Junkers left the room.

"I see I'm not the most oblivious member here." He mentioned offhandedly. "Did you never study his file, Reinhardt? That's Mako. Used to work as a driver and as Intel in the days of the war."

"Rutledge?" Reinhardt questioned, a picture of a smaller, somewhat skinnier man came to him as he pondered it. "I hadn't realized."

"Why else would I pick him?" 76 pointed out, stretching. "N' the kids not bad either. Does more of the talking these days, but that's fine. I understand getting lost inside your own head these days."

"I believe the phrase we thought of was- stepped in shit, landed in gold?" Torbjörn murmured, as he too thought on 'Roadhog', the man now revealed to definitely have once been Mako Rutledge, ex-Overwatch agent. He hadn't been much back then, more of a driver than anything in the crisis. But then the Australian omnium was given the Outback- his family's home. His mother and younger sister had both died in the Crisis, and he couldn't forgive his government- in his words, he had fought so hard, so long, and for what? "That he was another criminal you'd befriended."

He had left to defend his home in the Australian liberation front, and none of them had ever heard of him again. They had heard of the effects of the radiation on the humans that had remained. They had thought him dead.

Though, as 76 had pointed out, Roadhog wasn't really _Mako_ anymore, the upbeat man who had defended his impractical use of his motorcycle during the Omnic crisis and had served as good Intel for them. But he obviously was enough of Mako to understand certain things, and remember how he used to be with Reinhardt.

"Didn't Satya say that Roadhog had refused to assist us?" Mercy questioned out loud as she helped Genji stand, Zenyatta finally coming down from the upstairs area, accompanied by Mei and her drone, Snowball, to help with Bastion.

Fareeha nodded, growing irritated, even as Reinhardt picked up the unconscious woman. "Save it." He said firmly. "We will need to move now. Everyone, begin packing! Our position has been given away."

Hana shrugged to Lúcio. "I dunno, I thought that happened when we were posting pics on our social media…." She mentioned offhandedly, and Reinhardt gave her a stern look of disapproval, before sighing, and carrying Satya to a bedroom for Mercy to look at.

"Very well then." He let it be. "But still, we must move! Time is of the essence! And no more fighting other members- Fareeha, Lúcio, I'm looking at you two!"

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: fesikh is an egyptian dish served in the spring. there's a bit of joke that you're truly Egyptian if you can eat it. it's literally fermented fish that is covered in salt. every year, there is an advisory warning the egyptian government releases about eating it, and yet, natives continue to eat it because its tasty and a dish from the Pharohs, my prof claimed. Though she admitted she'd never had it.
> 
> Yala is a common Arabic phrase. My Arabic professor from egypt explained its like a coverall phrase for anything of minor annoyance. Indeed, the woman would slam her fist into her computer when it didn't work saying "yala", and when she was annoyed w/ us for not picking up material instantly, "YAL-LA" (with the split)
> 
> Inti is the feminine version of you in arabic, and those other two were insults (rizil is someone who is impertinent and gives others a hard time, and saazig is basically someone who's naive, but to the point of total cluelessness.)
> 
> In egypt its a common phrase to say Inshallah (god willing), when someone tells you Inshallah when u ask them to do it, you should know its never getting done. The whole joke plays out with Bokrah (tomorrow), as in, I'll do it tomorrow, and then if you didn't guess- Maalesh means sorry. It's text talk- IBM. Some people in Egypt say that they're a Inshallah society. and that's why they've been in an economic crisis for so long. Mona also said the arab world as a whole has an al-hamdulilah/al-hamdu allah society. I miss my arabic prof.....
> 
> I'll probably continue this. with another one shot type story. dunno about pairings but im multishipper trash, so we'll see.


End file.
